i need a landfill

What do I need a landfill for?
1) to unload whatever that is inside me;
2) to bury myself

Feeling quite lousy today. Somehow I am reminded that I'm constantly not standing up for myself. Ironically a defensive, self-protective person does purposely put down his guard at times.

Let's say, you are wronged by someone, and if you think by admitting/keeping quiet would settle the trouble, then you are so wrong. People will keep thinking you are wrong, and the impression would be burned into the back of their retina. The fact is, you didn't do anything wrong. Clear cut no. Life sentence is so common around us, if you are wrong for once, you are wrong forever. I tell myself never to talk back at elders, and in doing so I suffer in silence. Traditional values have become such a burden.

Was reading something and suddenly I'm hit by this heavy sense of jealousy. What am I doing... this is my blog and I can't even unload my feelings...

Giving up seems so tempting.