roll left, roll right

1:30pm.
Lying on parents' bed, trying to take a nap.
I need the nap, not because I'm sleepy, but I know my body is falling apart.
The threshold is there. The limit is near.
I'm not sure how much longer can I hang on.
Hang on to what? Hang on rotting? Hang on wasting the earth's supply of oxygen.
Depriving someone of his/her life chances.
The irony of it all is I haven't done much during this study week.
Have I done much for my life?
Negative.

Tossing around. Roll left. Roll Right.
My mind is defintely not a blank. In fact, it is too messy.
Thinking of nothing and everything.
How I wish I can just switch it off like how I switch off my computer.
Roll left. Roll right.

1:45pm.
SMS tone from my handphone.
Ignored. Roll left. Roll right. Curling up like what a dead prawn does.

2:00pm.
Finally feel tired of rolling.
Nicholl sent me SMS asking if I would want to climb later.
Negative.