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Sunday, November 20, 2005

girl friend and her past

Read this some time ago in the forum and wanted to share with you all. (obviously it's not me!)

There is this guy who has been happily with his girl friend for half a year. Suddenly the girl came up to him and told him that she has been raped before. The guy was at a lost and seeked opinions from the forum.

Don't you think the girl is very brave? The experience is painful enough for her, and yet she has decided to tell her boy friend the truth. She could have very well just kept quiet about it and pretend that nothing has happened. Does it show that she loves him so much that she decided not to hide it anymore?

On the other hand, how should the boy take it? Obviously his girl friend isn't a virgin anymore, but to put it crudely does he love her or does he love her hymen? She has decided to tell him her painful past... isn't it proof that she loves him?

I think that the reason he was at a lost at first is because he wanted a virgin girl. Well... you may say a Ferrari with a scratch is still a Ferrari, or you may say a scratch on a Ferrari is still a scratch... hmmm I dunno, actually I read another story that says the husband murdered his wife cos she got gang-raped by her friends... ok disgusting.

What do you think?


posted by chillycraps at 10:43 PM | Links

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9 Comments:

  • yeah, she is isn't she... She loves him so that she maybe she doesn't want him to feel ashamed or anything if he finds out thru other means, by giving him a chance to leave.

    At least she told him now. Imagine if they really do get married (don't know how old they are)and then she tells him, if he can't take it then how? Divorce? It's more hurtful that way. If he decides to leave her because of that, then he isn't worthy of her. Obviously he doesn't love her enough. It isn't her choice that she got raped.

    Then I think that the boy has to be really brave as well to accept a girl who has been violated before. He has to have enough courage to face her and that horrible fact. He really has to love her a lot. I thought it isn't about whether she still has her virginity. Lots of girls out there have already lost theirs not through rape and guys still want them. It's more than that.

    By Anonymous tstar, at 11/21/2005 10:32:00 AM  

  • I think if the guy can accept that his girl had sex before, then he has no reason to reject her if she got raped before.. that's what i think. Either way he can't get her first time. (of cos this is from the guy's point of view.)

    To the girl definitely it was horrible experience, but if she had sex with another guy after the rape, then isn't it void again?

    By Anonymous chillycraps, at 11/21/2005 12:50:00 PM  

  • eh, excuse me, a rape isn't like a.. casual sex thing where the girl is actually enjoying it lehz..
    it's 2 different things, having sex and being raped... mayb the auntie on the bus will rape u or smthing then u will understand...

    i don't believe you actually put the 2 different things on par with each other. are all guys like that? u urself said the girl feels horrible, and then u equaled the rape (not willingly) and sex itself (willingly)..

    and it isn't void. one is unwilling, another is willing... i repeat myself, 2 totally diff. things... (I think i repeated myself 3 times)

    By Anonymous tstar, at 11/22/2005 12:00:00 AM  

  • i think you didn't get my point.

    what I mean is, the guy has no reason to reject her, in fact he should love her more to make up for what other man has done wrong to her.

    unless the guy is a hardcore believer of virgin girl.....

    Now, what has it got to do with auntie raping me?

    By Anonymous chillycraps, at 11/22/2005 09:11:00 AM  

  • oh... I misread/misinterpreted ur 1st part, but I still don't like the way you phrase this: "Either way he can't get her first time."

    think the 3rd part of my comment still stands...

    coz I got the impression that u equated sex and rape, so was saying tat the auntie do it to u so u will know e diff...

    By Anonymous tstar, at 11/22/2005 07:07:00 PM  

  • yes yes... your third part still stands...

    *eyes rolling* what I mean is, if the guy is going after a girl's first time, then either way he still won't want her.....

    you know, KISS, Keep It Simple, Stephanie....

    By Anonymous chillycraps, at 11/22/2005 07:32:00 PM  

  • okok...

    By Anonymous tstar, at 11/22/2005 08:18:00 PM  

  • it's a trust issue, to the girl, that's probably her deepest darkest secret, and to tell someone she loves this much is a sign that she trusts him.

    by telling the guy all these, what she needs most is actually his trust in her and his comfort and reassurances. i don't think virginity is an issue here.

    anw, i think that (my own opinions only), that the guy felt lost is a sign that he still doesn't love her as much as i think he should have, and as such i feel that the girl's trust in him is misplaced because he doesn't trust her enough to accept her.

    but my points are debatable anyway.

    By Anonymous xxoos, at 2/15/2007 05:11:00 AM  

  • I think the girl doesn't need to tell him in the first place. This is not like cheating on him or what...

    but virginity is always the issue.

    By Anonymous chillycraps, at 2/15/2007 06:53:00 AM  

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